Penny Royal Tea

I'm on my time with everyone
I have very bad posture
Sit and drink Pennyroyal tea
Distill the life that's inside of me
Sit and drink Pennyroyal tea
I'm anemic royalty

Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld
So I can sigh eternally
I'm so tired I can't sleep
I'm anemic royalty
I'm a liar and a theif
I'm anemic royalty

I'm on warm milk and laxatives
Cherry-flavored antacids
Sit and drink Pennyroyal tea
Distill the life that's inside of me
I'm anemic royaltyI'm anemic royalty

Mencintaimu

Mencintai mu
Seumur hidup ku
Selamanya
Setia menanti

Walau di hati saja
Seluruh hidup ku
Selamanya
Kau tetap milik ku

Hanya satu yang tak mungkin kembali
Hanya satu yang tak pernah terjadi
Segalanya teramat berarti di hati ku
Selamanya...

Mencintai mu
Seumur hidup ku
Selamanya
Kau tetap milik ku

On a different note;

**The controversy over stem cell research arises from how they are created. Some are the by-product of in-vitro fertilization attempts by couples trying to have children. Unused ones, rather than being discarded, are harvested. Others are deliberately created specifically for this research.**

Dalam kalut ada peraturan, peraturan mencipta kekalutan. Di mana pula kau berdiri ?

**Another area in embryonic stem cells that can be of ethical concern is the use of therapeutic cloning. This involves using a blastocyst cloned from the patient so that the resulting stem cells are a genetic match. Some see this as being in a category of unnaturalness shared with reproductive human cloning, in which cloned blastocysts would be allowed to grow into embryos and eventually infants.**

Lihat dunia dari mata burung atau dari dalam tempurung. Yang mana satu engkau pilih ?

Bangsa aku kalah lagi

I'm sad. I'm truly sad and depressed. Sad for the fact that my own 'kind' can sometimes be so stupid and naive. Why? Why do I even bother to make them understand. My 'bangsa', sampai bila do we have to be in the shadows of darkness? Sampai bila we have to stand hold to a believe that have long abandoned us?

I'm harsh and cruel. That's what I've been labeled. Is it true? I don't know. I've also been labeled as a 'manusia lupa daratan'. Again I ask, is it true? Truth is my friends, I don't know. If trying to change what needs to be change and altered, can be considered a grevious obsession, then yes. I am guilty as charged.

Mr.Jones: A bit sad today Shah?
Shah: No. I'm not sad anymore.
Mr.Jones: Don't try to change the world around you Shah. It's an impossible task.
Shah: Yeah, I know. I GUESS IDIOTS ARE BORN IDIOTS AND YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE THEM.

Mengapa?

Mengapa hidup aku perlu dikongkong oleh masyarakat umum? Mengapa pilihan-pilihan hidup yang aku buat harus diadili oleh mereka-merka yang langsung tidak pernah faham setiap inci latarbelakang kehidupan aku? Mengapa bila aku cakap aku tak kisah tentang tanggapan-tanggapan mereka, mereka tetap mahu mengatakan aku salah dan cara aku songsang dan seroang? Mengapa aku harus dengar nasihat-nasihat kosong yang datang dari mereka-mereka yang sendiri tidak pernah melalui kehidupan yang sama seperti aku? Mengapa mereka tidak dapat menerima kelainan yang awak bawak sama seperti mana aku menerima kelainan yang mereka bawa? Mengapa? Mengapa? Fuck you all ! I don't care and I don't give a damn. My life, my choices, my happiness, my demise and my future.

Cakap-cakap kucing kecil

Garfield: Miaw! Miaw! Miaw!
Narnia: Miow! Miow! Miow!
Si kecil: Cat! Cat! Cat!
Shah: Lapaq la nih....

Semalam, masuk-lah hari ke-tiga aku menjadi 'bapa kucing'. Seronok, pening and kagum - experience pertama aku jadi 'bapa kucing'. Aku found out, newborn kittens tak boleh 'evacuate' bladder and bowel tanpa pertolongan. Mahu tak mahu, antara tugas-tugas baru aku sekarang adalah menolong kitten-kitten aku tuh 'melepas'. Seriously, aku tak tipu. Orang tersayang, bila aku citer apa yang aku / kami kena buat, terus tengok aku macam aku nih hantu air.

I'm enjoying life now. That's the most important thing. All I need now is a vacation. A long overdue getaway, somewhere over the rainbow, anywhere other than here. Nanti kita pergi, okay Shah? Aku janji. I promise.

Mr.Jones: I guess you won't need any valium anymore?
Shah: It dosen't hurt anymore...

Isnin ohh Isnin, kau datang jua akhirnya

Monday, akhirnya kamu datang juga. Dua hari cuti macam tak cukup saja. Sabtu dan Ahad tuh rasa macam di 'compile' menjadi satu hari. Tak cukup lah. Sampai opis pagi nih, terus aku apply leave. Aku cadang nak ambik 22 & 23, boleh direct cuti x'mas sekali. I need a vacation. I don't know where yet but I don't care. Anywhere here is better and plesant.

Sabtu lepas, we were 'di-kurniakan' 2 lovely kittens. We are now the proud owner of 2 'Australian gene' kittens. We decided to call them Garfield and Narnia. Both of them are female and they look soo adorable. Nanti aku post gambar-gambar aku, orang tersayang dan si kecil dengan kucing-kucing tuh. Dekat sini aku kena mengaku, kami langsung tak der pengalaman dalam membesar dan membela kucing. Tapi aku hendak try juga. Kalau si kecil aku dengan orang tersayang boleh jaga dan bela sampai umur dah 2 tahun, ini-kan anak-anak kucing? Anyway, hari nih kalau senang aku kena surf internet, nak cari tips-tips nak bela dan membesarkan kucing. Sebelum aku lupa, umur kucing-kucing aku tuh baru 2 minggu. Kira baby lagi lah.

Sabtu lepas aku bersorak sakan. Sorak sorang-sorang macam orang gila. Sikit pun aku tak kisah apa jiran-jiran aku nak celoteh. Liverpool menang besar! 2-0, lawan Middlesborough. Nanti aku update lagi....

The blues gang

Mr.Jones: Hello Shah, how are you feeling today?
Shah: I'm feelin' abit blue but I'm great.
Mr.Jones: 'blind hatred' - did you manage to find the meaning of it?
Shah: Yes I did.
Mr.Jones: Well?
Shah: I hate too many people nowadays. I have to stop hating people in general.
Mr.Jones: Why do you hate 'some' people so much, Shah?
Shah: I hate people that makes me feel small and depressive. I can't stand them.
Mr.Jones: There's always denial Shah. You can use denial and pretend that everything's fine.
Shah: I'm sick of that. Pretending and being hypocritical about everything is not helping me.
Mr.Jones: You did that before, Shah and you were good at it.
Shah: I've wisen up now Mr.Jones and I want to come clean.
Mr.Jones: Can you really be yourself in front of 'these' people?
Shah: No I can't and I'm so pissed about it!
Mr.Jones: Try valium Shah. It can ease the pain for some.
Shah: You're asking me to take drugs?
Mr.Jones: Yes I am, you seem to need it more than anyone.

After that conversation, I left home for the nearest pharmacy. Valium seems like a good idea.